#97, Borderland, Cold Station 12, and The Augments, Enterprise, Season 4, Episodes 4-6

Hm.... Data, some genetically augmented humans aboard a Klingon ship? Not entirely sure what's happening...

So, let's cut to it. One of my issues Enterprise as a prequel (as with most prequels) is I always felt one step ahead of the characters on the show. I know what Klingons are, so there's no mystery. I know what Orions, Andorians, Romulans, and Tellarites are, so there's no mystery. Oh, the crew is afraid of transporters? Don't worry, they figure that out. Your ship can only go warp 5, and that's a big deal? They get past that.

As an excuse for setting the series in the past, I never really found the 'temporal cold war' that compelling. I felt like the whole show was boldly going to places that I've seen. And changing the nomenclature to 'fire phase cannons' and 'polarize the hull plating' doesn't fundamentally change the action from 'fire phasers' and 'raise shields.'

It's almost as if Enterprise's sole purpose was to pay homage to the Trek that came before it, with a painfully self-satisfied nod is that this took place before The Original Series. Enterprise is practically winking at the audience when they reference things like the prime directive, or, the Mirror, Mirror universe, or, when — and I can't believe I'm typing this — they faced the Borg.

They. Faced. The. Borg.

For. The. Grock. Of. God.

But the show is not without its positives. The production design is flat-out great, striking a great balance of futuristic-and-retro. The cast is fairly solid. Phlox's optimism and curious nature is damned charming. It's enjoyable, but seemed far more interested in the exploring the minutia of the Trek universe than looking outside of what's been done.

To that point, these three episodes feel like a crazy mix-tape of the Trek that have come before it. Klingon Birds of Prey, fight scenes, transporter shenanigans, Orion slave girls, genetic super humans, speeches about doing the right thing, firing torpedoes, sacrifice, Brent Spiner, and a whole lot of Wrath of Khan.

I mean, a whoooooooole lot. Like, down to the mullets and the ragged post-apocalyptic clothing.  Seriously, can super-intelligent supermen and superwomen not find clothes that make them look like a homeless hair-metal band? Seriously? Because, it appears that they cannot.

The plot revolves around a bunch is supposedly badass super soldiers, known as Augments, looking to assert their rightful place as supreme rulers of humanity. Freeing their creator, their 'Father,' Dr. Soong from prison, they set out to recover the augments embryos and create an ARMY OF GENETICALLY ENHANCED SUPERMEN! This should have been followed maniacal laughter in the show, but somehow, sadly, it wasn't.

And Brent Spiner is chewing so much scenery, I'm surprised there's any set left. But he's having a great time and it shows. He's the bright spot in these shows. And it's great to see him on screen again in an episode of Trek, even if it is some kind of 'Data's-creator's-grandfather' sort of way.

"Yes, tell me more about me and how great I am."

The first of these episodes has a fair amount of action that takes us from an assault on a Klingon ship, to an Orion slave auction, to Dr. Soong pulling a fast one to get back to his 'children.' There's a lot of talk about enhancing humanity because it's the right thing to do, and/or just because we can. Dr. Soong, though their creator is still a normal human and has a conflict with the leader of the Augments, the one with the mullet and the Khan-complex (oh, hell, that's all of them).

By midway through the second episode in the trilogy, it starts to drag on, and the action looses steam. They spend a serious amount of time trying to get the Augment embryos, and torturing some poor character actor to get them. And they seem to have the same conversation over and over again about the pros and Khans of genetic engineering.

I am completely sorry about that. I sometimes I cannot help myself.

The Augment decides to get the Federation off their backs by inciting a war with the Klingons with a weapon that would eradicate all life on one of their colonies. Coming from someone who is supposed to be super-intelligent, it's a dumb, convoluted plan that requires on a lot of luck and circumstance to pull off.

Archer gets his ass kicked, because he is not a super-human, but never gives up. Soong has a change of heart and helps the Enterprise crew take out his creations. Augments' Bird of Prey goes down in a fireball of torpedoey explosions. In the end, these episodes are an enjoyable, but it's far more interested in patting itself on the back for rewarding the audience for what they already know than taking them somewhere new.

One day, the shadow of Wrath of Khan will pass over Star Trek, but not this day.

--

Next up, more genetically augmented ethics questions from Voyager's seventh season with 'Lineage.'

Yay, ethics!