79. I, Mudd

"We meet again, Kirk. Remember me? I'm the comic relief!" — Harry F'n. Mudd

I, Mudd, The Original Series, Season 2, Episode 8

Much like my review of ‘The Enemy Within,’ I’m really going to attempt to look at this episode through the lens of when it was made, what its intent is, and what they’re trying to say with it. But I’m not sure how successful I'm going to be with that. Because, damn, this episode it completely effing nuts. For the record, that's nuts not in a way that I enjoyed.

Much like the androids who sought to overthrow the galaxy, I just can’t process this episode. I just… I just can’t. It hurts my robot brain. What I find frustrating about that is, the premise of this episode is damned terrifying. The concept of unstoppable, immortal robots who seek to supplement humanity as a step towards galactic conquest is a threat as large as any crew in Star Trek has faced. The cold open involves an android taking control of the Enterprise and delivering the crew to his home planet. He does this having infiltrated the crew, passed as human for weeks, and rigged the ship to blow itself to bits if the crew interfered with its plan. But when the ship arrives as its destination, the crew is beamed down to face hundreds of thousands of the androids.

"You. Know. I. Am. Dane. Jer. Us. Be. Hold. My. Ro. Bot. Guts." — Evil Android Norman

And one Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

And his space-handlebar mustache.

From there the adventure takes a turn for the absurd as Mudd, the ne'er-do-well space swindler that the crew had faced before. Mudd's a fan-favorite, but I don't get him. The characterization and appearance is over-the-top, scenery-chewing, wtf-is-happening and oddly out of place in the Star Trek universe. All he does for me is heighten the stylized nature of the show. While Mudd's appearance should provide a counterbalance to the dangerous nature of the threat, all it does is work to undermine it. The second Mudd appears on screen, all real danger gets thrown out the window. Kirk goes from concern to amused. The situation degenerates quickly from oh-shit-we're-all-going-to-die to oh-for-the-love-of...

Mudd prances around declaring himself Emperor, and even has a robot version of his cartoonish shrew ex-wife he can boss around, who's played with subtlety worthy of the Flintstones. The robots try to please their new human masters by provideing them with their heart's desires. Scotty gets a workshop. Checkov gets vomen to manhandle. McCoy gets an advanced medical bay. Uhura is tempted by immortal beauty in a way that is not in the slightest way horribly sexist.*

Everyone is given what they want except Kirk, who just wants to boss people around. And denied of that, he decides to ruin everyone else's fun. Kirk is really only happy when Kirk's in charge. I'm kidding, of course. Not even Kirk is that shallow. Shatner maybe, but not Kirk. The Captain sees the android planet for what it is, a prison. A nice prison, and one with very nice toys, but still a prison. Kirk knows he can't take on the androids head-on, so they devise another plan. One that does not compute.

Not in the slightest.

They defeat the machines with silliness. Bonkers, Laugh-in-style nonsense is how they define humanity for the robots in hopes that it'll overload the androids logic circuits. It’s a completely bananas plan. And it goes on forever. Like, way beyond what could be expected for either the androids or the audience to stand. The crew speak contradictions, dance to no music, profess love and hate at the same time and confuse the androids (and me) into submission. Seriously, this could not —not — end fast enough.

"You can danze iv you vant to. You can leave your friendz behind!" — Ensign Checkov

Now's the part of the review where I say something nice about the episode. All I can really think of is that it's over and I never have to watch it again. It's too harsh to say I hated this episode, but, lord, I did not enjoy it.

Yet, this episode is inarguably iconic. So much so that the premise that robots can be defeated by paradoxes and illogic has permeated everything from Futurama** and Portal 2.*** It's now a much-used trope of science fiction. Even if someone has never seen Star Trek, they probably know about this episode. If they don't, they probably know. That. Ro. Bots. Talk. Like. This.†

So, who am I to argue with history?

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Up next, Beverly Crusher is at the center of a mystery in Remember Me.

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*I lied, it is. 

** In all fairness, there’s not much in science fiction that Futurama hasn’t hit upon, but the point is, this episode is preposterously famous.

*** Portal 2 a thing that I love, btw. 

† But, meh, so does Shatner. 

What This Is and What I'm Doing

When io9 posted their list of the Top 100 Episodes of Star Trek as voted on by fans, I took it as an excuse to rewatch me some Trek and to pontificate about it. I've just finished the first 20 on the list, and I'd like to take a moment to reflect. As a reminder, this is not my list. And though I love Star Trek, it is not sacred to me. There are some episodes that I just didn't connect with. Some that have been entertaining but flawed. And some that I've loved.

I'm making a few assumptions with this blog. I'm assuming, dear readers, that you've seen the episodes in question. I haven't been doing extensive recaps of the episodes, and haven't really dived into extensive descriptions of the characters and their general motivations. If you would like to see more of that, please reach out to me and let me know.

Here's the list of episodes that I've reviewed so far:

#100 Bride of Chaotica — A brilliantly madcap episode that pits Voyager against black and white serial villains.

#99 Day of the Dove — Kirk vs. the most bad ass of all bad asses, Kang.

#98 Paradise — Ben Sisko faces off against a cult leader on an alien world.

#97 Borderland, Cold Station 12 & The Augments — The Enterprise stretches an adventure that is a love-letter to Wrath of Khan a little too thin over three episodes.

#96 Lineage — A great character study of B'Elanna and Tom, if you care about either of those people.

#95 The Most Toys — Data is abducted into slavery by a crazy person.

#94 Disaster — Deanna Troi is placed in charge of the Enterprise. Hilarity ensues.

#93 Future's End — A time travel Voyager tale that couldn't end fast enough for me.

#92 The Magnificent Ferengi — A Quark comedy romp that's more entertaining than it sounds.

#91 The Killing Game — The Voyager crew fights Nazis, for some reason that eludes me.

#90 The Booby Trap — Geordi falls for a holodeck physicist, and that's his fantasy? Really?

#89 The Court Martial — Kirk is the manliest man ever to be put on trial for dereliction of duty.

#88 Favor the Bold & Sacrifice of Angels — A two-part microcosm of the best and worst that Deep Space Nine has to offer.

#87 Deja Q — Q returns to annoy the crew of the Enterprise to great effect.

#86 Memorial — The Voyager crew develops PTSD from an alien war they never participated in.

#85 Little Green Men — Quark, Rom and Nog get blasted back in time to 1947 Roswell, New Mexico and hilarity does not ensue. It tries, really hard though.

#84 Parallels — Worf bounces from reality to reality in a mystery that's solved in the episode's title.

#83 Timeless — Harry and Chakotay travel back in time to prevent the destruction of Voyager. I'm not convinced this is the best course of action.

#82 Conundrum — The crew of the Enterprise-D get their minds erased and thrown into a war they have no memory of.

#81 The Enemy Within — Where we get two Kirks for the price of one thanks to a transporter accident.

As we look towards the next twenty, I'm excited about some of the episodes on the list. Thanks for reading, and let's watch some Trek.

#81, The Enemy Within, Star Trek, The Original Series, Season 1, Episode 5

"I'm not a bad guy, really." — Dark Kirk

I recently got into a Facebook argument with a friend who only acknowledges the greatness of the Original Series, and feels that everything else that follows is terrible. At least, unworthy. He and I vastly disagree on this, obviously. While, I greatly respect The Original Series and the legacy it created, as I've stated before, it's not my Trek. So, if you're a fan of The Original Series (and only The Original Series), I'm going to apologize in advance for the next few reviews of the adventures of Kirk, Spock and McCoy on the Top 100 list. 'The Enemy Within,' 'I, Mudd,' 'A Piece of the Action,' these episodes are not for me. They're everything that I find off-putting about TOS, however...

However...

However, I'm going to do my best to appreciate them for what they are, the era in which they aired, and the spirit in which they're presented. I'm willing to give 'The Enemy Within' a lot of latitude because as Episode 5 of a decades-spanning franchise, the show is still figuring out what it is. Sulu and Scotty get a lot of air-time. There are a couple of firsts here, it's on this episode that Nimoy created the Vulcan nerve pinch (though an episode shot later aired earlier). We get out first look at Kirk's wrap-around captain's tunic. When a bunch of crew are trapped on a freezing planet and the transporter is inoperable, the obvious solution would be to use shuttlecraft, except they hadn't been established in the show yet.

For example, after this episode, they decided against making the Space-Unicorn-Terrier a re-occuring character. 

So, let's try a compliment sandwich, shall we? I'll say something nice, I'll say something less-than-nice, and then I'll say something nice again. Let's see how that works out.

'The Enemy Within' has a fantastic premise and had amazing potential. And the vibe of the episode is far more Twilight Zone that Star Trek. And coming from scifi legend and Twilight Zone alum, Richard Matheson, this is wholly appropriate. The episode is dark, brooding, and explores not just the darker side of Kirk, but the darker side of mankind as a whole. It asks the question of what happens when we strip away our humanity, and looks at what's left. A transporter accident creates two Kirks. One, slowly losing himself in self-doubt and fear, the other, the baser animal nature of humanity. We look at a man split into two extremes, and seeing what happens when a man's psyche is metaphorically and physically thrown off balance.

Matheson keeps the division between the Kirks from being as simplistic as 'Good' and 'Evil.' They go out of their way to point out that these aspects of personality are necessary for the whole. Dark Kirk is primal, driven by desire and self-interest. Kirk-Lite spirals from being the man he once was into a man who's incapable of making a decision.

Unfortunaltely, the different aspects of Kirk that are presented, the Compassionate and Indecisive Kirk-Lite and the RAGE, RAGE and OMG-SOMEHOW-YET-EVEN-MORE-RAGE Dark Kirk are played to such extremes the results come across as more comical than poignant. Now, let's call this for what it is, it's a television show trying to communicate a story point. But even so, it's really hard for me to watch Shartner sneer and snarl his way around the Enterprise as Dark Kirk. I don't think I'm going out on a limb in saying that Shatner is not the most well-respected thespian ever to grace the small screen. But in 'The Enemy Within,' his depiction of Dark Kirk as over the top, even for him. The choices of guyliner, general sweatiness of Dark Kirk, over-dramatic music, and the lighting doesn't help the subtlety of the situation, either.

"I'm acting! I am! Acting! I'm ACTING!" - Dark Kirk

Kirk-Lite wanders around the ship, waiting for others to act, and slowly loses his ability to command the Enterprise. Kirk-Lite is far less defined than Dark Kirk. Dark Kirk's first acts are to demand booze and force himself upon Yeoman Rand. Kirk-Lite's actions are more business as usual, but he increasingly becomes incapable of commanding his ship. Where Dark Kirk's actions are clearly aggressive, the aspects of this Kirk's personality are far more vague. I have little doubt that this is unintentional, a deliberate contrast between hard and soft. But we never get a sense of that the traits Kirk-Lite are any kind of benefit. All we get is that Kirk-Lite is incomplete.

"I have no strong opinion. Whatever is fine. What do you think?" — Kirk-Lite

I'm inferring here that the darker nature of humanity is not only necessary, but vital in order to be a whole human being. I'm not sure I'm okay with that. I think I'd be more amenable to the episode if the attributes of compassion and empathy were presented in any kind of positive light. But they're not, really. Compassion here is equated with weakness. I fundamentally disagree with the overall idea that the only way to be whole is to be equal part aggressive asshole. It's quite the mixed message for a show that looks to an idealized society where humanity has evolved to a nigh-utopian state. More than the low-grade production values, more than Spock's sole function as the Exposition Officer, more than the horrible treatment of Rand, this message is this reason that I can't really connect to this episode.

Also, the alien-dog-thing looks just damned ridiculous.

Like all great Star Trek, 'The Enemy Within' asks big questions. I'm just not sure I like the answer they came up with.

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Next up, Picard does what he does best, negotiating treaties in 'The Wounded.'

#89, Court Martial, The Original Series, Season 1, Episode 20

As we break into the 80s of the Top 100 Trek Episodes of all time, we have our second entry from the original crew. (Well, the second original crew, not counting Pike, Number One, and the rest of the Enterprise crew from The Cage.)

I'd mentioned before how Trek likes to explore different storytelling techniques. And in 'Court Martial,' we have a courtroom drama set in the world of the Federation. Here Kirk is put on trial for negligence of duty when  crewman dies during a crisis.

"How can anyone who looks this good be guilty of anything? I mean, seriously!" — James Kirk

If this episode is any indication, the Judge Advocate General's office is really, really messed up. I will call a lot of shenanigans on space law in a bit, but first I want to share something.

I have a theory on Captain James Tiberius Kirk. I don't really expect anyone to subscribe to its lunacy, but it helps me make sense of the character. I don't think he believes he's ready for command. I believe his arrogance and overconfidence is a mask for his insecurities. He understands the weight of the responsibilities of his position. He understands that he holds the lives of hundred under his direct command, and that it's his moral compass that must guide his decisions that may affect the lives of the countless billions within the Federation. At this time, Starfleet is still exploring the quadrant. They've met countless enemies and godlike beings so advanced as to appear magical. And Kirk has faced them all with a wink and a nod and not a shred of doubt in what he's doing is right.

That doesn't mean I don't think he's ready for the job. He is. He's clearly smart, capable, decisive, talented, eloquent, and more than willing to throw a haymaker when necessary. But I think his unwavering bravado is a facade to mask his self-doubt. It's his first command. He's in uncharted territories both physically and emotionally for him. Why do I believe that? Well, I'm glad you asked.

Kirk is presented as a paragon, the best of what humanity has to offer. But I cannot accept that Kirk truly believes himself to be that man. The counter-argument to that, is that Kirk is a human being. I choose to believe that it's all an act. That he's choosing to put on this larger-than-life persona as a means to deal with his responsibility. He has to charge forth into the vast unknown and face it with out a moment's hesitation. He always has to be right. Not because of his ego, but because it's what's demanded of him in his position as captain of the Enterprise.

Otherwise, he's a completely arrogant, irredeemable asshole, and not a flawed man doing the best he can in fantastic circumstances, under extraordinary pressure, and the responsibility of the most advanced military weapon mankind has yet to build. I choose to believe that Kirk is far more complex that the aforementioned paragon of humanity. Because, if this isn't the case, he's boring. And I cannot stand being bored.

In 'Court Martial,' when Kirk is accused of his crime, negligence of duty, Kirk just can't process it. He stands firm on his story, the ship was on red alert during an ion storm, and he had to make the tough call of jettisoning a crewman in order to save the ship. The man, Finney, Kirk supposedly killed was someone with whom he'd had a history. Kirk, as a junior officer, derailed this man's career, and wound up commanding the Enterprise instead. With their former friendship dissolved, Kirk is accused of deliberately murdering the man for... Eh, the logic of it doesn't really track, so I'm going to stop while I'm ahead here instead of trying to explain it. The computer records counter his story, and computer records are never, ever wrong.

Kirk supposedly killed a man by giving him a middle finger.

Rather than take a desk job and have his mistake quietly swept under the rug, Kirk reacts the way a cornered animal would react. He fights back. Viciously. To a fault. It's inconceivable to him that he could be in error. That his memory of the act was incorrect. That his actions in a crisis were at fault. That he, James Mother-Effing Tiberius Kirk, could ever, ever, ever make a mistake or be wrong. He immediately challenges his superior officer, and demands a trial before he's seen the evidence, or even takes a beat to consider the consequences of his actions. The Commodore is taken aback, and gives Kirk exactly what he asks for, a general Court Martial to see if his actions were criminal.

When Spock and McCoy are called to the stand to testify, both hold Kirk up to that paragon standard to which they hold him. Spock believes the computer to be in error solely because it is illogical for Kirk to have make a mistake. McCoy testifies that Kirk is so far removed from human psychology that the animosity Finney had for Kirk would have no effect on his decision making. The Commodore who puts Kirk on trial opens the story with how one-in-a-million special starship captains are, and how Kirk is the best of the best of them. Even Finney's daughter, who screamed bloody murder at the site of Kirk earlier in the episode comes to understand that Kirk is just... that... damned... awesome at being better than everyone else.

Here's where I shift gears a bit and call space shenanigans on the Starfleet legal system. First, the prosecution in the case, Lt. Shaw, is an ex-lover of Kirks. While it adds dramatic tension, it's clearly a conflict of interest and she should have immediately recused herself from the case. Secondly, his attorney is a straight-up crackpot. An eccentric that believes that computers are terrible and that books are the way to go. Because you can't read the original law from a computer. Which, from a 21st century viewing perspective is just batshit insane. Kirk is amused by the man's eccentricity, but should have instead immediately asked for someone not crazy. What's more is that this eccentricity never pays off. They don't come to a conclusion that proves old-fashioned book learnin' is better than computerized, digitized information. Instead, they wind up using a computer to solve their problem. Thereby derailing the attorney's eccentricity into a futile anti-technology rant.

"But I like books, they're my only friends." — Crackpot Lawyer Person

It turns out that Finney faked his death to frame Kirk, falsifying the computer records, and hiding on the ship. It's a plan that... Eh, the logic of it doesn't really track, so I'm once again going to stop while I'm ahead. The point is Kirk was right, and Finney was an insane person.

Kirk's bravado and reckless ego are validated by all of this. The crew's assessment of him as the paragon are reset and all's right with the Enterprise once again. His actions are justified, and he's been shown to be able to do no wrong.

But he's once again proven he's the right man for the most dangerous job in the quadrant.


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Next up, things in space go boom in the two-part DS9 epic, with Favor the Bold & Sacrifice of Angels.